Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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