oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
