He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
