Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
