Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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