just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
