God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
