every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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