I hope mine doesn't look like that
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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