the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
