he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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