doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
