YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
