jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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