she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
