Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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