drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
