Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
