We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
