do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
