I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
