I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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