Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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