Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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