Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
my poor anus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
