Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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