Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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