so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
