hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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