that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
