I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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