ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
