So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
