I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
They are going to name an STD after you.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
