im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
