"it" just moved
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
