$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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