So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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