Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
false alarm, still single
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize