FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
