the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
