i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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