what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
