I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
