he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
