id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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