So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
