What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this is an emotional support booty call
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
