ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
