my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
