That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
