Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
