i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Randomize
