how can u be prego again
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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