you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
