Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
