I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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