Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
